Rulquamfit is a god.

It takes the form of a large, benevolent fly.

Rulquamfit created a photon seven million years ago.

If you believe in Rulquamfit, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Rulquamfit, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Rulquamfit's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Rulquamfit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not skip in public.

2. Erect a large copper sculpture of Rulquamfit on top of all buildings.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Run away from indigo bats, for they are unholy.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.