Gannigwap is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, selfish goat.

Gannigwap created the universe four billion years ago.

If you believe in Gannigwap, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gannigwap, she will cry a lot.

Gannigwap's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Gannigwap's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not kill porpoises.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never laugh in holy places.