Tabvagvol is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, omnipotent seal.

Tabvagvol created the Cigar Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tabvagvol, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tabvagvol, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Tabvagvol's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Tabvagvol's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Feed all hungry ants.

3. Run away if four rats approach from the east.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate manatees.

5. Never think ill of sick voles.