Nurtdibjen Yimdabpang is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, slow armadillo.

Nurtdibjen Yimdabpang created the planet Saturn eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtdibjen Yimdabpang, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Nurtdibjen Yimdabpang, she will jump up and down on your head.

Nurtdibjen Yimdabpang's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Nurtdibjen Yimdabpang's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill tortoises.

2. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never eat green fruit.