Xemfossquampadyimdudtifzak is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, witty mink.

Xemfossquampadyimdudtifzak created the Sombrero Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xemfossquampadyimdudtifzak, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Xemfossquampadyimdudtifzak, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Xemfossquampadyimdudtifzak's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Xemfossquampadyimdudtifzak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Xemfossquampadyimdudtifzak.

4. Always help hamsters.

5. Do not drink alcohol.