Jopbellgem is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, emotional scorpion.

Jopbellgem created a bottom quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jopbellgem, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Jopbellgem, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Jopbellgem's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Jopbellgem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not eat parsnips.

3. Do not dye your hair yellow.

4. Never eat turnips.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.