Zimfotstaf is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, merciful cow.

Zimfotstaf created an atom two years ago.

If you believe in Zimfotstaf, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Zimfotstaf, she will turn you into a mouse.

Zimfotstaf's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Zimfotstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate sharks.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Always make sure there are no doves in a building before entering it.

4. Hide if eight goats approach from the west.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.