Catrowflow is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, unsympathetic mink.

Catrowflow created dark energy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Catrowflow, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Catrowflow, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Catrowflow's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Catrowflow's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your hands brown.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never feed cucumbers to dogs while wearing blue scarves.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Catrowflow.

5. Worship no other gods but Catrowflow.