Bestkemvog is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, blissful tortoise.

Bestkemvog created silver two billion years ago.

If you believe in Bestkemvog, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bestkemvog, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Bestkemvog's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Bestkemvog's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about cell theory.

2. Feed all hungry voles.

3. Never write about stars.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Always make sure there are no gulls in a room before entering it.