Xemqueegbaf Karbettof Nurtnibkop is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, clever bird.

Xemqueegbaf Karbettof Nurtnibkop created a quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Xemqueegbaf Karbettof Nurtnibkop, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Xemqueegbaf Karbettof Nurtnibkop, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Xemqueegbaf Karbettof Nurtnibkop's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Xemqueegbaf Karbettof Nurtnibkop's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your face fawn.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never write about moons.

4. Never mention badgers.

5. Xemqueegbaf Karbettof Nurtnibkop must be the most important thing in your life.