Quimdonbun is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, slow jaguar.

Quimdonbun created viruses five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quimdonbun, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Quimdonbun, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Quimdonbun's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Quimdonbun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in black rooms.

2. Do not speak about beans.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. You must love Quimdonbun.

5. Never eat green fruit.