Bestwankar is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, narcissistic alligator.

Bestwankar created the planet Mars six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bestwankar, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bestwankar, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Bestwankar's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Bestwankar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about lemons.

2. Do not shave your face.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not covet oxen.