Funbatnurt is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, conceited yak.

Funbatnurt created a strange quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Funbatnurt, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Funbatnurt, it will jump up and down on your head.

Funbatnurt's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Funbatnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Funbatnurt on top of all buildings.

2. Do not wear cyan clothing.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never sit near capybaras.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.