Tapkemshavwegjadvab is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, self-assured dryad.

Tapkemshavwegjadvab created energy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tapkemshavwegjadvab, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tapkemshavwegjadvab, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Tapkemshavwegjadvab's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Tapkemshavwegjadvab's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in the presence of sheep.

2. You must pray to Tapkemshavwegjadvab three times a day.

3. Tapkemshavwegjadvab loves mites, so they must be respected.

4. Feed all hungry birds.

5. Never skip near moths.