Pakjaphig is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, benevolent manatee.

Pakjaphig created the planet Jupiter two years ago.

If you believe in Pakjaphig, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Pakjaphig, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Pakjaphig's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Pakjaphig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about planets.

2. Always look after injured nematodes.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not wear magenta clothing.

5. Always pray immersed in water.