Fabtanlap is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, clever bird.

Fabtanlap created the cosmos five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fabtanlap, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Fabtanlap, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Fabtanlap's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Fabtanlap's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in holy places.

2. Never write about moons.

3. Fabtanlap loves goats, so they must be honoured.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Always help mites.