Himsomwap is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, compassionate cow.

Himsomwap created bats two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Himsomwap, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Himsomwap, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Himsomwap's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Himsomwap's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate turtles.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Hide from white birds for they are unholy.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ducks.

5. Never wear yellow ear rings.