Dadpibtap is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, omnipotent gerbil.

Dadpibtap created bats eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dadpibtap, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Dadpibtap, she will turn you into a dog.

Dadpibtap's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Dadpibtap's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always wear fawn.

4. Dadpibtap must be the most important thing in your life.

5. You must never eat apples.