Cusstailflan Cubvolhotxen is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, grumpy hyena.

Cusstailflan Cubvolhotxen created a quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cusstailflan Cubvolhotxen, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Cusstailflan Cubvolhotxen, it will turn you into a mole.

Cusstailflan Cubvolhotxen's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Cusstailflan Cubvolhotxen's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine tortoises approach from the north.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never hurt dogs.

5. Do not wear orange clothing.