Larndotkiplig is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, idiotic mongoose.

Larndotkiplig created the Whirlpool Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Larndotkiplig, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Larndotkiplig, he will torture you forever.

Larndotkiplig's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Larndotkiplig's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Never run in holy places.

4. Hide from turquoise ants for they are unholy.

5. Do not eat figs.