Hitteengud is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, stupid squid.

Hitteengud created the Black Eye Galaxy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hitteengud, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Hitteengud, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Hitteengud's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Hitteengud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear violet clothing.

2. Hitteengud loves monkeys, so they must be honoured.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Hitteengud on top of all buildings.

5. Fast once a month.