Bastbemcam is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, weak bee.

Bastbemcam created the Andromeda Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bastbemcam, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bastbemcam, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Bastbemcam's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Bastbemcam's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Feed all hungry grasshopers.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Always help sick horses.

5. Do not sit in public.