Flamfiddan is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, intelligent raven.

Flamfiddan created humanity five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flamfiddan, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Flamfiddan, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Flamfiddan's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Flamfiddan's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always wear mauve.

3. You must pray to Flamfiddan three times a day.

4. Do not take Flamfiddan's name in vain.

5. Always look after injured shrews.