Sascinboss is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, intelligent gorilla.

Sascinboss created the solar system seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sascinboss, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Sascinboss, it will manifest in front of you.

Sascinboss' most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Sascinboss' Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Erect four silver sculptures of Sascinboss on top of important buildings.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Sascinboss.

4. Always obey Sascinboss' priests.

5. Always wear red.