Pighomlik Yoklistzim is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, contented coyote.

Pighomlik Yoklistzim created a top quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Pighomlik Yoklistzim, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Pighomlik Yoklistzim, he will turn you into a slug.

Pighomlik Yoklistzim's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Pighomlik Yoklistzim's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if three hamsters approach from the east.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Pighomlik Yoklistzim loves manatees, so they must be honoured.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate shrews.

5. Never think ill of sick tortoises.
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