Vintailfat is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, slow troll.

Vintailfat created humanity seven million years ago.

If you believe in Vintailfat, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Vintailfat, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Vintailfat's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Vintailfat's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never write about cell theory.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Vintailfat must be the most important thing in your life.