Nellnelljad is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, passionate jaguar.

Nellnelljad created Asia five billion years ago.

If you believe in Nellnelljad, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Nellnelljad, he will refuse to believe in you.

Nellnelljad's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Nellnelljad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not eat garlic.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Always wear purple.

5. Never feed coconuts to dogs while wearing brown shoes.