Dimarmwon is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, quiet shrew.

Dimarmwon created dark matter seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dimarmwon, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Dimarmwon, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Dimarmwon's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Dimarmwon's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Dimarmwon six times a day.

2. Hide from white whales for they are unholy.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dimarmwon.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never play with disobedient children.