Staf is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, conceited faun.

Staf created carbon three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Staf, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Staf, he will turn you into a duck.

Staf's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Staf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear gold on your body.

2. Staf must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Put Staf first in all things.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Never talk about comets.