Tittailkip Gigrenmif is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, dishonourable porpoise.

Tittailkip Gigrenmif created the Andromeda Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Tittailkip Gigrenmif, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Tittailkip Gigrenmif, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Tittailkip Gigrenmif's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Tittailkip Gigrenmif's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no sheep in a room before entering it.

2. Do not speak about beans.

3. Do not wear lead on your body.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tittailkip Gigrenmif.