Cebtadvonk is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, unsympathetic salamander.

Cebtadvonk created a charm quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cebtadvonk, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Cebtadvonk, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Cebtadvonk's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Cebtadvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Never feed onions to dolphins while wearing purple trousers.

3. Do not take Cebtadvonk's name in vain.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never wear violet hats.