Cenyattkoppon is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, all-powerful aardvark.

Cenyattkoppon created life seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cenyattkoppon, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Cenyattkoppon, he will turn you into a rat.

Cenyattkoppon's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Cenyattkoppon's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Cenyattkoppon on top of all buildings.

2. Cenyattkoppon must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not wear zinc on your body.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not take Cenyattkoppon's name in vain.