Bemsanyarl is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, fast penguin.

Bemsanyarl created the Large Magellanic Cloud six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bemsanyarl, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bemsanyarl, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Bemsanyarl's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Bemsanyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. Always help sick voles.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Bemsanyarl loves pigs, so they must be respected.