Garfigyarp is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, effective dugong.

Garfigyarp created light four billion years ago.

If you believe in Garfigyarp, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Garfigyarp, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Garfigyarp's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Garfigyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Garfigyarp loves rats, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.