Tenxuckgad is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, intelligent wolf.

Tenxuckgad created carbon nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tenxuckgad, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tenxuckgad, he will laugh at you.

Tenxuckgad's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Tenxuckgad's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never wear kilts.

3. Bats are not to be trusted.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Tenxuckgad.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.