Ratflamlarp is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, awesome finch.

Ratflamlarp created carbon three billion years ago.

If you believe in Ratflamlarp, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Ratflamlarp, he will destroy your home solar system.

Ratflamlarp's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Ratflamlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not wear copper on your body.

5. Never mention snails.