Higtitgup is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, proud gorilla.

Higtitgup created an up quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Higtitgup, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Higtitgup, she will make you grow a tail.

Higtitgup's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Higtitgup's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never feed lemons to badgers while wearing mauve skirts.