Nilxintag is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, deceitful penguin.

Nilxintag created the planet Earth twelve years ago.

If you believe in Nilxintag, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Nilxintag, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Nilxintag's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Nilxintag's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Erect a large iron sculpture of Nilxintag on top of all buildings.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never wear gray kilts.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.