Hitkinbem is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, witty capybara.

Hitkinbem created the planet Mars four billion years ago.

If you believe in Hitkinbem, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Hitkinbem, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Hitkinbem's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Hitkinbem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never think about black holes.

5. Do not dye your hair pink.