Cipquartnulfabnelljarn Capdusshen is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, unthinking lizard.

Cipquartnulfabnelljarn Capdusshen created a bottom quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cipquartnulfabnelljarn Capdusshen, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Cipquartnulfabnelljarn Capdusshen, it will think nothing of it.

Cipquartnulfabnelljarn Capdusshen's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Cipquartnulfabnelljarn Capdusshen's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never eat onions.

5. Always obey Cipquartnulfabnelljarn Capdusshen's priests.