Tikortsaw is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, temperamental hamster.

Tikortsaw created the planet Jupiter three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tikortsaw, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Tikortsaw, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Tikortsaw's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Tikortsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear pink.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never skip near nematodes.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not commit murder.