Spagpigmif is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, witty crane.

Spagpigmif created Mount Everest four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Spagpigmif, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Spagpigmif, she will turn you into a snail.

Spagpigmif's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Spagpigmif's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Seals are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.