Gesstiktip is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, tranquil yak.

Gesstiktip created dark energy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gesstiktip, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gesstiktip, he will destroy your home solar system.

Gesstiktip's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Gesstiktip's Holy Commandments

1. Always help whales.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never talk about mites.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.