Bamwigligquill is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, weak human.

Bamwigligquill created bats two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bamwigligquill, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bamwigligquill, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Bamwigligquill's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Bamwigligquill's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate aardvarks.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. You must never eat aubergines.

5. Do not chop down trees.