Arpbumlad is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, sapient goose.

Arpbumlad created Europe five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arpbumlad, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Arpbumlad, he will strike you with lightening.

Arpbumlad's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Arpbumlad's Holy Commandments

1. Goats are not to be trusted.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Feed all hungry capybaras.

4. Do not dye your hair violet.

5. Do not shave your hands.