Vonkmumtail is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, ruthless gnu.

Vonkmumtail created carbon twelve years ago.

If you believe in Vonkmumtail, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Vonkmumtail, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Vonkmumtail's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Vonkmumtail's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never hurt cats.

4. Always treat capybaras with great respect.

5. Vonkmumtail loves birds, so they must be respected.