Watwadnaklarg is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, resourceful fish.

Watwadnaklarg created a Higgs boson two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Watwadnaklarg, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Watwadnaklarg, he will turn you into a rock.

Watwadnaklarg's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Watwadnaklarg's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Hide from black badgers for they are unholy.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate porpoises.

5. Never wear blue rings.