Jonkingof is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, omniscient cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Jonkingof created Europe two million years ago.

If you believe in Jonkingof, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jonkingof, it will come to you in dreams.

Jonkingof's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Jonkingof's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

5. Never write about the strong nuclear force.