Flambotgan is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, fussy hydra.

Flambotgan created an up quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Flambotgan, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Flambotgan, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Flambotgan's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Flambotgan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear brown clothing.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate foxes.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Always help whales in need.