Nurltaljon is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, witty fish.

Nurltaljon created tapeworms seven million years ago.

If you believe in Nurltaljon, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Nurltaljon, he will destroy your favourite star.

Nurltaljon's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Nurltaljon's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never feed bread to frogs while wearing magenta corsets.

5. Do not trade with those who eat pineapples.